He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize