She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
