Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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