Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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