sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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