Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
