whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This house was built for laser tag.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
