Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
