His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
