I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
