There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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