That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
