Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
