..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
