In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
