Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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