im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize