At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
