I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
