Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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