I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
