Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
should my penis look like a turkey
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
