u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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