If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
