party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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