He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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