Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
