my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
