Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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