I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
areolas are like halos for boobs.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I had your ass I would rule the world
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
