never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
