I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
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She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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