So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
