i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
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i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Couch. On fire.
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