upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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