You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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