He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
