found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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