very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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