That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize