Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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