I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
