..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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