I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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