All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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