I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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