I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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