he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
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I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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