if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
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His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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