Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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