If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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