Sponge bath it is.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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