Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
How's work?
Spinning.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
