At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
