i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
