I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
