I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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