I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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