I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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