I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She bit a glass in half.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
