He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
