Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
